


What I like about you baby, is how you annoy me daily (REWRITTEN)

by hopeful_insomniac



Series: Rewritten [2]
Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: JEDTAVIUS, Jed needs to stop being a horny bastard, M/M, PWP, Post Coital Cuddling, Rewrite, and Octavius needs to stop enabling him, porn with a slice of plot, this fic took almost a week to write pls don’t let it flop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25482805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeful_insomniac/pseuds/hopeful_insomniac
Summary: Jed decides to try something new.(This is a rewritten fic! If you wanna see my improvement from June 2019 to now, you’re welcome to read the first one. If you don’t want your eyes to bleed, then this one’s for you!)
Relationships: jedediah/octavius, minor Larry/Ahkmenrah
Series: Rewritten [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845961
Comments: 2
Kudos: 100





	What I like about you baby, is how you annoy me daily (REWRITTEN)

**Author's Note:**

> ah shit, here we go again. 
> 
> nah but seriously, I felt the inspiration to rewrite an old fic with atrocious writing (no proper spacing either, which made me wanna vOMiT) So I took it upon myself to improve this old hunk of garbage into something slightly less garbage! 
> 
> -TL;DR: less plot, more porn. You’re welcome.- 
> 
> Billy and Fabian belong to Pixiemage <3
> 
> Kudos and Comments give me life!

“Octavius!” Jedediah yelled from his diorama. The sun had dipped below the horizon mere minutes ago, and he could hardly wait to see him. A romantic evening with his attractive Roman consort sounded great right about now.

“My love!” The Roman general yelled back almost immediately.Even though their dioramas were separated by a large wall, Jed’s voice still rang through the hall loud and clear. 

Taking the presumptive invitation to come over, Octavius set about working his way down onto the floor and over to the Western diorama. 

As soon as Octavius reached the cowboy’s home, he glanced about for a minute, trying to pinpoint his love. He was soon distracted, however, as Billy, one of the cowboys, smiled and waved him over. 

“Good evening.” Octavius said curtly. “Hey!” Billy bounced on his heels, obviously excited. 

Octavius let a grin slide onto his face. It was quite obvious what Billy was awaiting. 

He allowed himself a minute of private amusement, before replying, “Fabian is off duty tonight.” 

“Yes! Thank you! See ya around!” And with that, Billy jetted off towards the floor. 

Octavius chuckled. Young lovers falling head over heels for one another never failed to amuse him. 

He was so preoccupied that he didn’t even notice the soft jangle of spurs behind him. 

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist, and a stubbled chin pressed up against his neck. The smell of pine and leather surrounded him. 

“Good evening, Jedediah.” 

“Hey Octy...”

Jedediah’s soft lips found their way to Octavius’s neck, placing light kisses up and down the Roman’s skin. 

The brunette smiled, enjoying the sensation, before asking, “what did you call me for?” 

Jedediah pulled his lips away from Octavius’s neck reluctantly. “What, a man ain’t allowed to see his sweetheart?” 

“You are allowed to see me any time you wish, mi amor.” 

Jedediah, now detached from Octavius’s body, scrunched his eyebrows. “Debatable.” 

Ignoring the playful teasing, Octavius continued. “So what would you like to do tonight, darling?” 

Jed leaned in close, his blue eyes sparkling, before grabbing hold of Octavius’s armor and hauling him backwards so he was pressed up against the wall of the general store. They were lucky this side of town was fairly deserted this time of night, because Octavius doubted Jed would want anyone seeing their antics. 

Jed pressed himself up against Octavius, quickly kissing his jawline before whispering, “You know what I want to do to you.” 

Octavius shivered, sparks spreading through his body. 

“I know you love it when I get all dominant. You love not being in control for a few minutes. You love it when I ride you at my own pace, not letting you fuck me properly. I know how much that turns you on, general.” Jedediah growled sensually into his ear. 

Octavius fought the urge to moan out loud. Jedediah really did have a dirty mouth, and he’d be damned if it wasn’t hot as hell. 

“N-not now...” 

Jedediah pulled away, looking a bit cross. 

Octavius smirked deviously. Two could play at this game. 

“It’s better if we let the tension build, mi amor. Why get off right away when we can drag it out until we’re both desperate for each other?” 

Jedediah thought about it for a moment, before donning a sly grin. 

“Sounds great.” 

* * *

Larry and Ahkmenrah entered the diorama room a few minutes later, drawn by Jed’s loud and persistent yells to, “get the remote controlled car over here!” 

Ahk smiled down at the pair, who seemed a bit ancy for some reason. 

“How are you two doing tonight, my fellow gays?” Ahkmenrah said with a shit-eating grin. 

Larry rolled his eyes. “Ahk, stop saying that.” 

“Why? I find it quite amusing! Right, Octavius?” 

The Roman nodded hurriedly, not wanting to mess with the pharaoh. 

Ahkmenrah turned back to Larry. “See?” 

Larry sighed loudly, then carefully placed the small car onto the floor for the pair. 

“Thank you, my liege.” Octavius said, and Larry nodded, before walking away, Ahk trailing behind him like a forlorn puppy. 

On their way out, Octavius swore he saw Larry take the Egyptian’s hand gently. 

“Octy, were Gigantor and Ahk holding hands just then?” Jedediah asked, wearing an impish grin.

Octavius cocked his head. Come to think of it, they were awfully close. It wouldn’t be a huge surprise if they were together. 

He replied honestly, “I believe so.” 

“Heh.” Jedediah smirked, stealing appreciative glances at Octavius‘ wonderfully shaped thighs. He was still a hit steamed from the earlier encounter, but he had an idea that would make the wait worth it.

“C’mon Octy, let’s ride.”

* * *

It was a few hours later, around 1 in the morning. The pair had just finished a long game of fetch with Rexy. However, that wasn’t supposed to be the main event of the night, and Jed couldn’t stand waiting.

As they drove the halls, the cowboy’s body began to heat up in anticipation. He knew Octavius was going to make him feel good, and the mere thought of that was enough to get him going. 

So as Octavius rounded a corner, Jedediah’s hand found its way onto his thigh. Octavius looked up, surprise and lust sparking in his chocolate eyes. 

As he began to drive towards the end of the hall, Jed’s hand slid farther up Octavius’ thigh, and his fingers played with the ends of his pteruges. 

Confident fingertips traced his inner thigh, gentle but demanding. Jedediah’s message was clear: he couldn’t wait any longer. 

Octavius attempted to accelerate, but was forced to brake when Jed teasingly palmed hisnow half-hard cock through his loincloth. 

“Jedediah, do not distract me.” Octavius put on his best general voice. 

Jed smirked. “Your body seems to want me to keep going.” 

“Do not listen to it. we can stay in bed the rest of the night if you just let me drive us back to Rome.” 

Jedediah, having gotten what he wanted, pulled his hand back, giving Octavius’ leg one last tender caress for now.

As soon as the car pulled up to the Roman diorama, both men jumped out and ran. Normally, the trek up and down took an average of 5 minutes, but Jed scaled it in an impressive 1 minute and 34 seconds, with Octavius coming in a close second. 

Roman soldiers looked on in mild amusement as Jedediah ran through the plaza, Octavius in tow. By now, their general’s consort’s antics were familiar, and it was always a welcome sight to see their commander in a bit of a looser state. 

After what seemed like eternity, both men reached Octavius’ private quarters. The Roman frantically closed the door behind them, before capturing Jedediah’s mouth in an absolutely filthy kiss. 

“We-ah! We can’t do this...mmm.. we can’t do this here...” Jedediah said weakly. He wanted to get to the bed, but damn, did Octavius’ neck kisses feel good. If he didn’t move soon, he might just melt into a puddle of aroused mess. 

Octavius, hearing Jed’s request, picked his lover up bridal style and carried him towards his bedroom. 

Octavius threw him onto the bed, too horny to care too much about being gentle. Luckily, Jed liked it a little rough sometimes. 

“I’ve been waiting for this all night,” Octavius confessed, frantically loosening his cloak and throwing it to the side. 

As fast as he could, Octavius began the task of taking his armor off. The job was usually a two-person one, but he really didn’t wanna call for an attendant now. 

Meanwhile, Jedediah waited on the bed, his blue eyes focused only on his boyfriend’s body. Unable to stand it anymore, he trailed his hands down to his pants, before fiddling with the belt and popping it open. Finally, the cowboy was able to stroke himself lazily, hungrily watching as more and more of Octavius’ tanned body was revealed. 

The Roman finally peeled off the last of his armor, standing in nothing but his tunic at long last. He shot a dirty look at Jedediah, who had continued to masturbate. 

“My love, I believe that giving you pleasure is my job.” Octavius said, a slight whine laced into his tone. 

Jed shrugged apologetically, still stroking himself gently. 

“Sorry Ockie, I just couldn’t wait anymore.” 

And with a firm grip on Octavius’ wrist, he pulled him into bed with him.

Octavius yelped as his partner pulled him into an urgent kiss, wiggling out of his own pants and shirt, and tossing them carelessly onto the floor, along with his hat. 

Suddenly, Jedediah pushed Octavius down onto his back. He swung a leg over his waist, and straddled the General with ease. 

“W-What are you doing Diah?” The Roman asked breathlessly as Jedediah began to grind his hips down, letting them move together. Jedediah was rarely ever this dominant, as he (admittedly) had a bit of a rank kink. However, it seemed tonight Jed would be the one controlling the pace. 

“I’m taking what I want.” He replied in an animalistic growl. 

If Octavius could be any harder, he would probably be frozen from the waist down. He hurriedly slid his tunic off, finally naked. 

Jedediah grinned his signature grin at the sight of this, blue eyes sparkling in the dim light. 

“Should we get this show on the road?” The blonde asked seductively, and Octavius nodded frantically. 

Giving Octavius one last heated kiss, he slid out from the bed, much to the Roman’s dismay. 

“Relax, sugar. I’m not going anywhere, just wanted to grab something.” Jed assured his lover. As fast as he could, he rummaged through Octavius’ drawers looking for what he knew was there. 

After about a minute of searching, the cowboy found what he was looking for: some leather straps. 

With a grin, Jedediah gathered them in his hands and walked back towards Octavius’ (almost obnoxiously) large bed. 

Octavius was clearly awaiting his return, if his impatient huff was anything to go by. Luckily, he wouldn’t need to wait any longer. 

“Hands against the bed-frame, darlin’.” 

Octavius’ facial expression changed from confusion to lust as soon as those words left his mouth, and his hands were raised and placed against the iron headboard. 

“I know we’ve never done anything like this before, so I wanna make sure you’re cool with it.” The cowboy said, his gaze turning serious. 

Octavius smiled, pleased that Jed had taken the time to check in with him. “You have my full consent, Diah.” 

“If you wanna stop, you just say the word. You remember the safeword-“ 

“It’s exhibit, I know. Please just get on with it, I’m ready.” 

Jedediah grabbed the first tie, and wove it around Octavius’ wrist and the slat in the headboard. 

“Not too tight?” 

“No, it feels fine.” 

Jed did the same to the other wrist. By now, Octavius just wanted him to get to the main event, but he knew Jed and Jed loved to tease him. 

After what seemed like ages, Jedediah reached for the bottle of oil that sat by Octavius’ bed for just these occasions. They slept together enough that it was simply more convenient to have it there in case of a spontaneous sexual encounter. 

Jedediah carefully uncorked the bottle, and drizzled a generous amount onto his own fingers, then some on his other hand. He put the bottle back on the table, just in case they needed more. 

With a devilish smirk, Jedediah slid his fingers down to his own entrance. With his other hand, he slicked up Octavius’ cock, covering it in the slippery substance. The Roman general let out a soft groan, and began to rut lazily into his hand. Jed just grinned and continued to let Octavius fuck his hand. He was pretty busy fingering himself open, so it was a good way to stimulate them both. 

Jed curled his fingers, trying to find that one spot that made him go wild. He pressed a third finger in, his fingertips still questing for his prostate. 

A sharp, sudden jolt of pleasure shot through Jedediah, and he knew he hit his mark. Octavius could tell too, and it turned him on to no end. 

It continued like that for a few more minutes while Jed allowed himself to stretch and loosen enough to take Octavius. 

Finally, when neither of them could take the teasing anymore, the blonde positioned himself, hovering over Octavius’ waiting dick. 

“You ready?” 

Octavius groaned. “Gods yes, just put it in already...” 

Jed smirked triumphantly. “Yes, general.” And with that, he began to carefully sink down on Octavius’ member, letting himself adjust to the welcome intrusion. 

Once he was fully seated, Jedediah began to ride his boyfriend’s cock, rolling his hips in a slow, teasing manner. Octavius moaned, lightly pulling on the leather straps. 

“Feels good?” The cowboy teased, and the Roman honest-to-god growled. 

Taking that as a yes, Jedediah sped up a bit, rocking faster. He leaned in, kissing him softly. 

Soft moans and sighs filled the room as both men allowed themselves to be sucked into the hypnotizing feeling of sheer pleasure they were sharing. 

Jedediah began to pick up the pace, going from a walk to a trot. It felt really good, and he didn’t want it to end so soon. Maybe a little more teasing wouldn’t hurt... 

Octavius, however, was feeling much different. The still-too-slow pace was driving him crazy, and he really just wanted to hear Jedediah let out those beautiful loud noises he made when he was getting fucked good and hard. Right now, the Roman desired nothing more then to rip out of those damned restraints, press Jedediah to the bed, and make passionate, rough, proper love to him, just the way he deserved it. 

The teasing was on the verge of becoming infuriating, and Octavius was done with it.

Sneakily, as to not alert Jed to his plan, Octavius rolled his wrists around, trying to find an out. 

It was then that he discovered the fatal flaw.

Jedediah had tied his hands too close to each other. This meant that he could simply use his fingers to untie the knots. 

Octavius did just that, carefully holding the now untied knots up to the bed frame, trying to assure that Jedediah was caught by surprise. 

Jed, apparently unaware of his partner’s newfound freedom, leaned in real close and whispered, “Does it feel good, General?” 

“You know it does.” 

And with that, Octavius let the leather straps drop, flipped Jed over, and snapped his hips in a rough, primal rhythm that had the cowboy gasping and clutching the sheets. 

Jedediah had not seen the Roman’s retaliation coming, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. As much as he loved taking the lead, it felt amazing to lay back and let someone else take care of him. 

Octavius angled his thrusts to hit that one spot, and Jed nearly screamed, pleasure surging through him with every rough movement.

It was getting harder and harder to keep himself from coming, and it was clear that the Roman was having the same problem. Neither of them wanted this to end, but the high of orgasm was just too good to resist, and it was right there- 

Octavius slid a hand between them and fisted Jedediah’s cock with fast, even strokes, and it was so damn good Jed felt like he may have died and gone to heaven. 

Octavius teetered on the brink of climax, trying to delay the inevitable, but he just couldn’thold on anymore. 

“Darling- I can’t- I have to-“ 

“Me too, sweetheart... let’s try and get it together...” 

Jedediah grabbed his partner’s hand, interlacing their fingers as the pleasure got more and more intense, and the fire in the pit of his stomach burned more and more, and oh shit, they’re going over-

“Octavius!” 

“Ti amo, cara!” 

And he’s coming, he’s coming all over his stomach and Octavius is coming inside him, he can feel it, and it feels like heaven.

It’s a good 20 seconds before they both get their bearings again. Octavius slips out of Jedediah gently, before hurrying off to the bathroom to clean himself up.The blonde collapses onto the bed, breathing heavily, allowing himself to calm down from his high.

It seems like ages when Octavius finally comes back, his once lustful gaze soft with unspoken love and affection. 

He holds a wet cloth, and Jedediah flips over, allowing him to wash him clean gently. Octavius makes a pleased noise when they are finally both clean, because it means that they can finally curl up in each other’s arms, the thing each of them secretly love the most. 

Jedediah allows Octavius to curl around him. Normally, they argue about who gets to be little spoon, but tonight they are both so sex-drunk to argue about really anything. 

Neither of them say anything, just allowing themselves to bask in the afterglow of their lovemaking. 

It is Jedediah who breaks the calming silence that surrounds them. 

“Heh, you tuckered me out real good, huh ‘Tavy?” 

Octavius makes an amused snort, and Jedediah can feel a smile begin to form on the Roman’s lips. 

“Me, get you to rest? We all know that is simply impossible, my darling one.” He shoots back, placing a gentle kiss in the cowboy’s fluffy blonde hair. 

“You are an inexhaustible source of sexual energy.” The general continued, snuggling closer. Jedediah smirked, and pressed back against him. 

Octavius laughed gently, and exhaled long and slow. 

Outside the Museum, the sun began to rise, casting soft yellow light through the windows. 

“Good morning, my darling Jedediah.” 

“Good morning, Ockie.” 

And then they freeze. 


End file.
